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Tuesday, April 22, 2014

50 Calorie Chocolate Miracle Muffins

These are by far my favorite "diet" recipe that I have given a whirl, and actually what inspired me to start recording the recipes I've tried, edited, or created.  These are so freakin' good that they made me want to share them with the world!  People have laughed at me, rolled their eyes, and don't for a second believe that a 50 calorie muffin could taste like anything better than soggy cardboard.


And unlike the diet coke brownies from my last post, these are not only low calorie, but also have nutritional value!  They've got protein, are pretty darn low carb considering this is a chocolate muffin, and aren't high in fat or sugar either.  This is mostly accomplished by substituting out the usual unhealthy culprits in the ingredients list: oats in place of flour, unsweetened applesauce in place of butter, Splenda in place of sugar, and egg whites in place of whole eggs.  I'm typically not a fan of artificial sweetners such as Splenda, but for the results, I can deal with it.

The recipe I used can be found here:  Joe and Sue's Double Chocolate Muffins

This time, I actually highly recommend following the recipe as is.  The only adjustment I've made is using Hershey's Dark Chocolate morsels, the ones that are slightly larger than your typical chocolate chips.  I just prefer dark chocolate, and the larger chips make for more of a fudgy bite than normal sized chips, even if you are using the same amount of chocolate in the end.  The bigger gooey pockets are nicer and pack more flavor than the smaller ones.

Before baking...
...and after baking.  Yes, they look almost black before they cool.
What I'm most amazed by is that the nutrition facts actually check out!  So long as you're using about 3 tbsp of batter per muffin, they're going to be around 50 calories.  Of course, this also depends on how generous you are with sprinkling the chocolate chips on top.  I stuck to five per muffin, but I think 3 would be fine.

Nutrition facts (per 1 muffin- recipe makes 24):
Calories: 50~60ish, depending on size and amount of chips
Protein: 2.6g
Carbs: 7.8g
Fiber: 1.8g
Fat: 2.1g
Sugar: 3.2g

Things to potentially try: replacing the chocolate chips with butterscotch chips.  The results of this weren't bad, but they had a distinct coffee flavor (I have no clue why), and I am not a fan of anything coffee flavor.  My best friend enjoyed them at least!

Things not to try:  editing this into a lemon muffin recipe.  We tried.  It was a monstrous failure.  Even though the results look pretty ok here....they weren't.  We just tried to salvage the batter any way we could, and mini lemon pancakes resulted.  Still yuck.
At least The Boyfriend Food Disposal System still took care of them.



Monday, April 21, 2014

90 Calorie Fudgy Brownies

I was faced with an interesting challenge this weekend:  make a holiday dinner for my family- one that they can enjoy and so can I- without everything tasting like crazy “health” food.  I succeeded by using lots of vegetables, baked chicken, and being a little more generous with the butter than I would if I were cooking purely for myself, but my favorite thing I made?

90 calorie brownies.


And I didn’t tell anyone what they were until after they’d taken a few bites, because you’d seriously never know.  Here’s the recipe: http://www.eat-yourself-skinny.com/2012/04/diet-coke-brownies.html

Here's what you need:
12 oz Diet Coke
1 Package Pilsbury Sugar Free Brownie Mix
Makes 12 servings

Yes, for real, you just need a can of diet coke and some brownie mix.  The original recipe is 115 calories per brownie, but by using the sugar free mix, I was able to cut it down to 90 calories! 

My Domestically Impaired Requisite Cooking Goof-Up this time was using a special brownie pan that has a lift-out sleeve for cooling once the brownies are done baking.  Don’t use those for this recipe, folks.  The mix is going to be more liquidy than usual, and it will leak.  And your kitchen will smell like burnt stuff.  And it’ll take you three rounds of soaking your oven with 409 and scraping with a spatula to remove the burnt gunk.  But your brownies are still going to taste amazing!

On to the instructions….


Just mix the diet coke with the brownie mix, pour it into a (non-leaking) pan, and bake according to the instructions.  It might take a little longer than the package says for them to bake if you don’t like your brownies as gooey as I do.  Either way, the result is going to be a rich, fudgy wonder akin to the flavor of a flourless chocolate torte. They're still not particularly nutritious (yeah, check out that carb content), but they're a pretty awesome alternative to your average calorie packed brownie!

Nutrition Facts:
Calories- 90
Fat- 2.5g
Carbs- 23.1
Protein- 1
Fiber- 3g

Wednesday, April 16, 2014

3 Ingredient Banana Pancakes!

I've had this recipe saved on Pinterest for a while:  http://www.recipebyphoto.com/3-ingredient-pancakes/

Looks too simple to be true, right?  I was skeptical, too, but over the weekend I found I really needed to do something with the blackened banana in my kitchen, so it felt like the right time to give this a try.

And OMG....it was SO much better than expected!

146 calories per pancake!
Even as I was mixing up the ingredients and pouring them into the pan, I was still skeptical.  I was skeptical up to the moment I cut a piece off and stuck it in my mouth.  They taste like delicious, moist banana crepes!  I only had some atrociously unhealthy uber-butter flavored pancake syrup around the house from my pre-diet days, so I was worried about having nothing to douse it in, but it turns out these really don't need anything extra.  I put two teaspoons of blueberry jelly on the top of mine for the sake of trying it out, but it would have been just as yummy alone.

Here's what you need:
1 very ripe banana
2 eggs
a smidge of cinnamon (like, 1/2 a tsp perhaps)

Makes 2 pancakes

Cut the banana up, add the egg and cinnamon, mash it all up with a potato masher (or an assortment of ineffective kitchen utensils if you've forgotten you own a potato masher, as I did). Let the mixture sit for about 3-4 minutes to get a fluffier pancake than the one in the picture (I figured this out on the second go-round). Heat a skillet over medium-high heat with a sliver of butter, add half of the banana goo mixture, and watch the magic begin.  Just cook it and flip it like you would a normal pancake.

Nutrition facts:
Calories:  146 without toppings (I did figure in 1/4 a tsp of butter per serving with this- if you use an alternative you could adjust accordingly)
Fat: 5.7g
Carbs: 16.5
Protein: 6.8g
Fiber: 2.4g
Sugar: 6.8g

....and just one is pretty darn filling!

In the true spirit of my cooking style, I did, of course, burn the second one.  Because I didn't add more butter to the pan.  My dear boyfriend still ate it like a champ and turns out they still taste pretty awesome even burnt!
It's an abstract piece, ok?







Tuesday, April 15, 2014

10 Tips for Successful Weight Loss

As I mentioned in my first post, I've been focused on losing weight for a while now. I've lost 33 pounds in the past 4.5ish months now and toned up a good bit, so, naturally, people have asked me what the heck I've been doing, and the answer is...a lot.  But, I've tried to sum up the most important bits, and here are my top ten pieces of advice to anyone who decides it is time to make a change.
Yes, you can have a bite.

Most of these are things I learned on my first trip to a weight loss doctor, and I still highly recommend seeing one to get started.  A doctor can give you personalized advice and set up a plan that works for you specifically.  It's rather expensive though, and you will probably be given a lot of the same advice I was, so, why not pass that info along for free?  This is what worked well for me, and I bet it will for most other people, too.

1. Eat!!
Starvation mode is a real thing, and if you are getting too few calories, your body is going to resist giving them up.  Believe me- you can exercise your butt off, but if you’re getting too few calories on a consistent basis, the scale isn’t going to move…at least not very quickly.  And if you can lose weight faster by actually eating a decent amount of food, why put yourself through this?  A good rule of thumb for anyone, I think, is don’t go below 1,000 calories a day.  Which brings me to #2…

2. Reduce your calorie intake by 1/3.
Figure out how many calories you’re getting in a typical day, and reduce it by roughly 1/3.  Treat that as your calorie limit while you are trying to lose weight.  You might, however, want to first assess how healthy your “typical” intake is and realize you might not be able to go back to that if you want to maintain your weight loss.

3. Obey the rule of thirds with nutrition labels.
In case you went to art school, no, I don’t mean that you get to choose food with the most aesthetically pleasing packaging.  Look at the nutrition facts on everything you pick up and compare the amount of carbs to the amount of protein.  If it has more than 3 times as many carbs as grams of protein, walk away.  Protein rich foods/drinks are miracles for losing weight quickly!  And the closer you can get your carb:protein ratio to this balance or better, the better results you will see.

4. Keep a food journal.
You can’t really keep track of what you’re doing right or wrong unless you’re, well, keeping track of it.  I use the My Fitness Pal app.  My best friend prefers Fat Secret.  Whatevs.  Just find a way that works for you, and keep an eye on how your nutrition is adding up throughout the day.  Treat it as a puzzle that you will need all the pieces to by the end of the day.  Not near your protein needs for the day?  Think about what food choices can fix that.

5. Be honest with yourself!
So, you only had a wee handful of M&Ms?  Oh, it still counts.  If you’re not adding even the little teeny things up in your food journal, remember, you’re only hurting yourself and your own progress.  Hold yourself accountable for every little snack and you will see more progress.

6. Eat small meals.
I hated the idea of this at first and never thought it would work for me.  If you’re a geek like me, you’re totally familiar with the eating habits of Hobbits, with their notions of Second Breakfast and Elevensies being non-negotiable everyday meals, and turns out they were onto something.  I found it helpful to think of getting the most out of my body’s fuel the same way I would think about getting the most out of my car’s fuel: steady doses of energy give you the most efficiency.  Your miles per gallon suffer when you hit all those stop lights, right?  All those increases and decreases in speed?  It’s the same with your body.  Give it small, steady doses of energy, and it will give you its best performance.  Give it a lot of stop and go (heavy meals spaced far apart), and it will start dragging and retaining weight.  My personal plan is 3 meals of 200-300 calories per day, with two to three 100-ish calorie snacks spaced between, no more than 3 hours between each meal.

7. Don’t reward yourself with food.
…at least not very often.  If you’ve made a lot of progress and want to have a cheat meal at the end of the week, go for it.  Once a week will not hurt you, so long as you don’t blow it out of the water.  For me, a cheat meal is something like a chicken tenders kids’ meal (preferably from Longhorn, with those awful, butter-laden mashed potatoes).  It’s an unhealthy treat, but a relatively healthy portion size.  Find other ways to reward yourself, such as new clothes that you never dreamed you’d fit into!  That’s a feeling of happiness that will last much longer than any cheesecake euphoria (debatable depending on the cheesecake, I know, but give it a chance).

8.  Accept that our society does not make healthy eating easy.
…and rise above it.  If you start putting effort into really looking at the nutritional values of everything you consider eating, you’re going to be amazed at how obnoxiously unhealthy most everything is.  Some of it will really make you wonder why it is legal!  You’ll see your friends eating these sorts of things, too, and that makes it harder to resist, but remind yourself every time that you know the truth about that food now, and you’re not going to let it fool you anymore. You’re going to be treated as though you’re being uptight and snobby by some people, and seeing your willpower working so much harder than theirs will make people terribly uncomfortable, but remember, that’s not a reflection of any fault in what YOU are doing.  Bend a little if the social situation makes it necessary (business dinners come to mind for me), but at least keep portion control in mind as your last resort.

9.  Learn some healthy recipes, and be certain they are truly healthy.
There are tons of places to look online for recipes to start with, but always check the nutrition for yourself, and don’t just go by what the recipe is touting.  I plop any new recipe I’m interested in into the My Fitness Pal recipe calculator thingy, and 9 times out of 10 those “healthy” brownies are only healthy if you cut them into pieces about the size of your thumbnail and forget that the chocolate chips aren’t composed of air.  It’s disappointing, yes, but this goes back to rule #5 about being honest with yourself.  The good news is that even if the recipe doesn’t check out, you can experiment with substitutions until you’ve got some good-looking nutrition facts.  Think about what you can change- will Splenda work instead of real sugar? Will applesauce work instead of butter?  Just egg whites instead of the whole egg?  You can get pretty creative!  And don’t get too pouty, thinking you’re going to miss out on all that flavor.  Chances are, once you start eating healthier, your cravings for all that excess sugar, butter, whatever, will start shrinking pretty quickly.  I, for example, feel like I can actually TASTE how much sugar is in things for the first time, and many sugary things I used to scarf down nonchalantly make me super queasy.

10.  Remember, if it’s not a change you can make permanent, it won’t make a permanent change.
Obviously, right?  This is why fad diets fail when you go back to your regularly scheduled eating habits.  This is why the whole “I’m never eating carbs again” thing doesn’t work in the end.  If you love pizza something terrible, you don’t need to exclude it from your life- just build a healthy relationship with it and learn to resist eating the whole freakin’ thing.  The fifth slice is going to taste about the same as the first one did, I promise.  When people ask me for diet tips, many of them go on to tell me their own plans of excluding one thing or the other, going with this new breakthrough diet trend or that, and that’s great, if it’s something you really believe in committing yourself to for all eternity, or at least until you feel it’s ok to chub up again.  For me, I think it’s better to just build an honest, healthy relationship with food, learn about it, know the consequences of every lemon square, and respect those consequences.  I can’t live in a world where I’m never allowed to indulge, and I don’t think anyone should force that on themselves.



And so, it begins...

Welcome to Domestically Impaired- my personal chronicle of brave attempts at cooking, crafting, and healthy living...and the fire thing...that, too.  I believe my mother best summed up my relationship with life when, before departing from moving me into my first apartment far from home, she gave my neighbors the warning, “Paisley may want to discuss quantum physics with you from time to time, but she’s probably going to need your help with operating the door knob.”  I may have initially gone out into the world with a rather noticeable common sense deficit, but I am slowly overcoming my struggles and learning that bad things happen when you pour hot bacon grease into plastic cups. 

The main impetus for starting this blog, however, has been my recent focus on developing a healthier lifestyle.  I’ve lost a good deal of weight in the past few months, and I’ve gotten very enthusiastic about keeping that going as well as sharing with other people how they can be successful with the same sort of thing.  Thus, the blog is born!  Expect many of my own healthy recipes, recipe reviews, and other stuff and junk soon.